Not only is it not good for your children, but makes your Soldiers life harder. Usually they are imagined as a very lazy, annoying, fat person. (Not you liz, but the person you talked about. Fuck your feelings no dependa is safe If you dont like hearing other dependent spouses being called names then go out there and help them change. It’s the women who are like that ALL THE TIME (or at least the majority). I’m fairly certain they’ve never walked a mile in her shoes…and yet it seems so easy to judge and name-call. trends.embed.renderExploreWidget("TIMESERIES", {"comparisonItem":[{"keyword":"Dependapotamus","geo":"","time":"2004-01-01 2020-08-03"}],"category":0,"property":""}, {"exploreQuery":"date=all&q=Dependapotamus","guestPath":"https://trends.google.com:443/trends/embed/"}); It all started with the post of a user called Daemion, submitting a definition on Urban Dictionary on the 14th of September 2008. I am not a fan of the page, I check it because I had someone make a snide remark toward me one day about my appearance (gained weight from chemo and hadn’t found a great shampoo yet that works with the new hair texture) and parenting while my kid (who has developmental/phonological/sensory/personality disorders) was having a total meltdown that came on suddenly and I had errands I had to finish, and then not so quietly mention verbatim “this is so going on ______’s page). ... Urban Dictionary and our advertising partners set cookies on your computer to improve our site and the advertisements you see. What happened in their life to get them to that point. I’m a female Soldier (of 10 years now) AND a single parent. As military spouses, we are own biggest critics and enemies. She received her PhD in Sociology from The New School for Social Research. She isn’t. Men who neglect their woman deserve what they get 4.2 years ago. Dependapotamus also known as “Dependa” is a disparaging term referring to women who are married to a military service member and live off of their wealth and success. Often shortened to dependa. What I can’t figure out with these people is why sit and make fun of military spouses when you want nothing to do with the military community, they make fun of the programs (FRG, Functions, Events) and if you say something on these pages about it they say well unlike it and don’t look…why can’t they do the same thing? It is no shock that many spouses feel the need to stay away from “support” sites that are overrun with meanness and bullying. Nominate A Deserving MilFam for Myrtle Beach’s 1 Million Military Contest! Not all MilSpouses are like this. She sold Scentsy, let her kid ride his scooter in traffic, and gossiped and started drama with everyone in the neighborhood. It’s counterproductive to creating a supportive environment for all military spouses. The meme took over multiple sites and social networks, such as Facebook, Reddit, Youtube and even Tumblr. But as a stay at home mom your “duty description” includes house work and raising children…am I right? The letters BA (Hons) after my name also means: Bad Attitude (Honestly). Go to the commissary. As an frg leader during my husband’s recent deployment, we came across these types of women all. I think there is a LOT of truth behind the photo. These creatures seek to take advantage of the trusting nature of the more inexperienced Service Member by birthing live children to him, to establish a link that would be more work to be rid of than to simply keep. It will be as if we were there in the barracks room with you! Everyday is a shit day, that is why I drink everyday. Dependapotamus – According to Urban Dictionary: Traditionally a service-member’s dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. How often do people complain about women who look disheveled all the time, are out of work, and are on food stamps and welfare and keep having babies. Some people just don’t know how to act. I think its a really admirable thing for someone in FRG to work really hard to encourage these women, but with the TRUE dependa, I think its futile. Stay at home mom’s are fine, there is no excuse for a stay at home mom to have a FILTHY home. We all know this type, the lonely woman who stays at home while her husband is away on "their" deployment and when he comes home she spent all "their money The oh-so-popular saying, “Wife of a _____, toughest job in the _____” makes my freaking blood boil. A Dependapotamus, or Dependapotami (Plural), is the spouse of a military Service Member, whose symbiotic relationship is parasitic. Dependa - Military Dependapotamus tries to get into the pool for free Like us on Facebook! It’s exhausting. Based on some military spouse websites you would think so called “dependas” were overrunning every military base all over the world. I absolutely agree! Let’s be clear. All dictionary pages are copies, unless he was in possession of the original manuscript :P ETA: I asked Dad about it because it's been a long time since I heard the story. What’s really amazing is that I saw the article on FB on one of those support sites, and the first half a dozen comments completely missed the point of your article, insisting these creatures do exist. Dependapotamus – According to Urban Dictionary: Traditionally a service-member's dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn't do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. We had a famiyl evicted from housing because her home was so trashed. Her research examines surrogacy with a specific focus on military wives in the United States. Well, the word is pretty self-explanatory: It is a combination of “dependent,” describing someone who is a military dependent, and “hippopotamus,” as in…well, a really chubby creature that … There are so many times in my life I have been proud to be a part of the military community, and then there are times when I see words like this and am just ashamed. 2. My husband is NO LONGER military. That post blew up and received 1,700 upvotes and several comments. And Jennifrr, I agree, it’s exhausting and let’s do be the group that breaks the cycle. These women think they’re doing good, but settling for a gross house and unruly children, because she thinks shes too good to work hard. Ever. I could go on and on all day about this because it is becoming more and more common..but YES DEPENDAPOTAMUS’ DO EXIST. They start out all cute and All-American until after the wedding, then it's like cookies, couch and coach purses. That’s not what the term is referring to. If you have children and work, you pay someone to watch your child, and that is acceptable, obviously. Dependa, also known as Dependapotamus, is a pejorative referring to the wives of military service people who live off of their spouse's earnings and are typically associated with being lazy and overweight. We are hosting Watch Parties for the newest episode every Thursday from 6-7pm PT. “I just need to find 11,780 votes.” -Pres. […]. “Don’t Be Scared To Counteroffer. Arguing with other dependas over Facebook all day over who's the bigger dependa. 2 Reply. I read a blog a while ago by a military spouse that was so depressing in the way it portrayed other military spouses, specifically SAHM’s (I believe dependapotomus was the word used). This my friends is a special kind of idiot. Secondly, who is spreading the myth of the dependapotamus? Kinda makes you a failure! The #1 Ad-Free Reddit ""experience"" without the hassle of being quarantined After all, I do have to get up and refresh my bon bon supply between soap operas. We are always judging and being judged. I actually knew a wife once that not only claimed her husband’s rank (by grilling me about my husband’s time in service and time in grade–seriously–because *she* wanted to be the highest ranking wife on the block–wtf?!?! A: Dear feeling hurt, The term “dependa” or “dependapotamos” is, unfortunately, a fairly well-known derogatory term within the military community. An insult. One of the very firsts was the page AntiDependa which had an illustration of a so called “Dependapotumus Version 4.3″ as its profile picture. You don’t get a rank or title by marrying someone – it is EARNED. This creature can be seen in it's natural state normally in the Post or Base Exchange, usually in the food court area. We as service members say this and believe it for a reason. In 2014, on the 14th of January, the user ricerbarbiee submitted an entry about “Dependapotamus” which is now the top definition on Urban Dictionary. Have a dependa pic or meme, post it here. Wouldn’t it be weird if the run-off senate vote in Georgia were contested? Kind of like the c-word and b-word of milspouse-land. Previous: View Gallery Random Image: It’s easy to call people names but it’s harder to get to know them. Not caring about your appearance or the reflection of you and your family on your husband and his career. 3,045 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from ‘dependapotamus’ hashtag Apparently those folks live in glass houses, so they are entitled to pin this name on someone they’ve seen. I viewed it as “spouse on spouse crime”. And on April 27th another page was created, just after a redditor posted a screenshot on 4chan of a “Dependapotamus” trying to get into a public pool for free. Dependapotamus also known as “Dependa” is a disparaging term referring to women who are married to a military service member and live off of their wealth and success. In the military community, especially the online military community, dependapotamus is a 4-letter word. The Urban Thesaurus was created by indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban Dictionary. The largest military subreddit on reddit. How to Cope with the Unpredictable Nature of Military Life, 5 Painless Ways to Build Your Military Family’s Emergency Savings, 8 Holiday Gift Ideas For Milspouse Entrepreneurs and Remote Workers, 4 Holiday Marketing and Preparation Tips For MilSpouse Entrepreneurs, Milspouse Entrepreneur Giveaway Alert: Zoom Backdrop from RemoteOffice, Spouse Shaming & The Silencing Military Spouse Advocates, There’s Nothing Wrong with Being A Military Spouse. at one time i made more money then him so dependa-anything I am not. A dependapotamus is not someone that is just "a hamlord." It’s just the truth. The definition left out a few key ingredients to that combination, such as an inflated sense of entitlement (i.e. Have a dependa pic or meme, post it here. This is just uncalled for and unproductive and down right mean. It’s very sad all around. None of the sites that make fun of the overpopulation of ‘dependas’ in the world claim that every military significant other is one. I see them at my son’s school almost every day. […], […] “I refuse to be like all of those other military spouses. And that’s why I don’t associate with military unless I meet them outside of the military setting. I’d like to add some (few) fun ones (crudeness mostly edited out): 1. I understand that it is offensive to some, but, it is the truth. Dependapotamus | EP05 22m 177 comments **** VET Tv is starting something new! For the most part, its true. Because whether or not we want to believe it, our actions have an impact on the way our husband is perceived by his superiors and peers. A Dependapotamus, or Dependapotami (Plural), is the spouse of a military Service Member, whose symbiotic relationship is parasitic. Sensitivity at its finest right here! I actually found your article from one of those sites, the primary one that created this particular idea of military spouses. The military provides, and your husband works hard. DO NOT BECOME ONE. 270k members in the Military community. Go to the PX. Why “Dependapotamus” Needs to End by Danya If you’re a military spouse, you’ve probably heard a few terms like Tag Chaser, WestPac Widow, OSMW (overly-sensitive military wife), and the infamous Dependapotamus. they are NOT made up, they are most defiantly not Extinct. no dirty clothes, clean floors i wash the walls and keep my kids room/bathrooms clean. Pride in your home, and caring for your children is a priority. This is the final form of depandapotami and Karens. ), Definitely not extinct. For instance, propellant is the common spelling, but propellent is an accepted less-common variant. Spouse on spouse bullying is a big issue in the military world. i have 5 kids i stay home now. ... Urban Dictionary. Not extinct In the last military housing neighborhood I lived in a pregnant women’s who’s husband was deployed needed help putting one of those 5 gallon waters On the machine- so I offered. I’m pretty sure even us stay at home moms do SOMETHING. If you have no idea what a “dependapotamus”  is, check out the definition on Urban Dictionary: Dependapotamus: Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hutt leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. i have seen these toothless (or mostly toothless) smelly nasty women who sit on there Sofa or in there Garage all day smoke drink and Face Book it up! A combo of a dependapotamus and a karen. A lot of times though, this behavior is coming from dependas who are angry with their life but don’t want to change it. Commander in Chief, Pacific Fleet (CINCPAC) … as in “Sink Pac!” OOPS! I have met fantastic spouses, and also the ones that throw their husband’s rank around like it is theirs. Otherwise, you’re stuck defending something that the average service member has become just as knowledgeable with as they are with their uniforms. O.O. What is wrong with being a stay at home mom? If you do not belong in this category, then stop taking offense to it. A person who is married to someone in the service who doesn't just depend on their spouse for financial support, but pretty much relies on them for it. As a female in the service, this is extremely irritating. No matter what kind of life you want to live there will be a milspouse bully or many bullies who want to judge you. They make us all look bad. Everyone in the military has heard of the not so rare, Dependapotamus. So how is this no job having, in mother like filth creating women not a dependa? It’s about being home and doing nothing. Seriously, get these lazy good-for-nothings off the couch and oit of the house. A dependapotamus is someone that doesn't bother to make a life for themselves, depending entirely on their military SO to care for them and any failing business ventures they have that they didn't think out very much. For those who don't know what a Dependapotamus, it's a stereotypical military wife. 1.7k votes, 69 comments. 27 Nov 2013 #1 Who else had one while they served ?? A wife is a wife… and the only thing a wife is competing with, is herself, to make sure her marriage is the best it can be. And name-calling like this only goes to illustrate how acceptable weight discrimination is in our society. We all know that  American women struggle with body image issues. It’s not the norm, but it’s not just a few, either. Thread starter sguyw; Start date 27 Nov 2013; sguyw LE. Sleeping with someone doesn’t earn you anything. Websites and Facebook pages abound that delight in riffing on the "dependapotamus," "dependa" and other derogatory terms for a stereotypical military spouse, usually portrayed as … This will only be live on VET Tv. I think stay-at-home moms get enough flak from the rest of the public, but when we are hearing it from other moms it’s even worse. As a woman, I think these women are incredibly selfish and either didn’t know what to expect when they married a Soldier or are spoiled, lazy, worthless, breeders. An insult. Is There Truth Behind the Dependapotamus Myth? And you know that, as a NextGen MilSpouse, the last thing you are is dependent, so you couldn’t be farther from a “dependapotamus.”. Often times, by bearing multiple children, … In the military community, especially the online military community, dependapotamus is a 4-letter word. I don’t even know what to say to this one. You Know Your Worth, Show Them... 5 Things to Consider When Deciding to Rent or Buy. You will usually see this term used by spouses on “support” sites. NextGen MilSpouse is an online magazine and community with a fresh and modern perspective on military life. There's a great entry for it on Urban Dictionary, for starters. 1. Whether or not you believe that dependapotamuses…dependapotami?…exist, the label “dependa” […], […] Related: Is There Truth Behind the Dependapotamus Myth? Also the same people on the sites making fun of people also make fun of the ones who do care about keeping up appearances for their spouse’s military career….Also being an FRG leader if you had a concern about the spouses during a deployment did you make it a point to talk to them, ask how they were doing, get to know them on a personal level (how many was this their first deployment, or first duty station, or first PCS) before you made judgment on them? Urban Thesaurus. Not taking care of yourself or your kids. This CHILD came crying to Revenge of the Dependapotamus to tell us how she got her husband in trouble AND ruined the life of a wook and her kids in the process. In the entry, Daemion defined a “Dependapotamus” as a “stay at home mom” who resembles to “Jabba the hut”. It’s not just about being a stay at home mom. Share Pin Tweet PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image. I wonder if they’ve ever thought about why that person is that way. 3.3K likes. 23 talking about this. […] I bet you’re asking yourself, “what’s spouse shaming”? I have mentioned before that we have been doing this for 18+ years and I have never encountered this term. THAT, my dear is a “dependapotamus”, and I’ve met far too many like her in the 13 years that my husband has been in. Dependapotamus. These indexes are then used to find usage correlations between slang terms. The dependapotamus is an endangered species, if not extinct. Nice to see that there are those who find this term as offensive as I do. He says the original wording was "Give me a page from the dictionary," and the dictionary he cut the pages from was a pocket dictionary he owned and kept in his school desk. You see, Joe is very lonely, is … Go to your local base exchange or commissary and it is like seeing pictures of “People at Walmart.”. Two, these women could have a really nice life! These are the exact equivalent of a dependa. Yes, the term has some merit. Report. Newsflash, if you are paying someone to do the same thing a stay at home mom does, it’s not a piece of cake. Yes, some people are very deserving of the moniker. Dependapotamus - Who had one ? Like literally nothing? Report. Some rude & brood comments here. I guarantee you’ll see at least a few women dressed in pajama pants, hair a mess, kids a mess, running amok and screaming. It makes us (and our husbands) wonder about what’s going on in their homes with the way some women act, and the way they treat their kids. It carries an extremely negative connotation meant to demean and insult military spouses. By your reply it makes it sound as if you are grouping every military spouse into this derogatory name…so if you chose not to have any interaction with your husbands life/job and affiliation into what he does….how do you know or why do you even care about the other spouses unless you go to places to specifically find someone who is not 100% well manicured in the nicest clothing that day to purposely point them out to use for you own amusement (which doesn’t say a lot of good about your character). There is nothing wrong with being a spouse (I am a spouse while active duty), but you better believe that when I get out of the service in 90 days, I will not FOR ONE SECOND believe that I am entitled to my husband’s rank. Despite what you may read online dependas are not overrunning every military base all over the world. clearly, you have missed the point of the dependa. The Dependapotamus, as scientists refere to them, are living potato sacks who will congregate at the local malls, dive bars, WalMarts, and under 21 night clubs in hopes of finding a military man that they can sink their whorish claws into. ), but also claimed her husband’s Purple Heart (another wtf?!?!). The thing is these type of people are the exception…not the normal as these facebookers would have you believe. ^and that, ladies, is what we call a dependa. at least where We are. the. Dependopotamus A leech-like creature normally associated with the military, but has been seen in other forms outside of the military. Enough with the “dependapotamus” label! provide a sanitary and clean area in witch to raise my children. For dependapotamus hunters, the most basic ritual is to use a common vocabulary, beginning with the word dependa but any derivation of it, like dependapotamus or dependasaurus, will do. It is no where near “endangered” status yet. Usually they are imagined as a very lazy, annoying, fat person. 548 votes, 184 comments. As Urban Dictionary defines it: "Traditionally a servicemember's dependent who is a "stay at home mom" that doesn't do a d*mn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking… As do neglectful women 4.2 years ago. That is what I’m hoping we do too, but thus far to me it seems like this generation is the group that started serious bullying amongst milspouses. You can be a dependapotamus without being "a hamlord." And yeah, we all have bad days where we feel like crap and have to run a quick errand and don’t have time to ‘get ready’ (or just don’t feel like it), and sometimes all of our kids are crazy. Military Dependapotamus. The word for someone like OP is dependapotamus. The official Urban Dictionary API is used to show the hover-definitions. 58 talking about this. 1.9 years ago. 1.2m members in the 4chan community. Because if women they are “calling” out really live like they are saying by calling them this derogatory name then they know them well enough and if trying to intervene hasn’t worked they need to call in the MP’s or DHS if children are being neglected and housing needs to know if their living quarters are that unihabbitable. Answer me this and maybe if you can come up with a miracle of an excuse for it I might entertain you! Kind of like the c-word and b-word of milspouse-land. One, the dependa has a huge sense of entitlement and thinks because of what her husband has worked for, she is deserving of more respect that say, a PFC, wife. demanding recognition for *their* “service”) and rank wearing. I can’t even fathom this. On Youtube, a channel called ‘The Honest Dependa’ was launched in March 2017 dedicated to Dependas, where there are various short, military-themed comedy sketches. But if you choose to not work watching your own child is suddenly a deplorable thing to do? Go to a shoppette. Every dependapotamus I’ve ever met has had a filthy house and bad ass kids. I Know You’re Going to Be a Great Military Spouse, You Ask, We Answer: Handling Your Kid’s Deployment Questions Without Lying, 7 Highly Pretentious Green Living Habits Everyone Should Adopt, Love Is Love: One MilSpouse’s Reaction to the Same-Sex Marriage Decision. The suffixes -ant and -ent are alike in sound and meaning, and they often give a noun or adjective variant spellings. I’m no dependa.” […], […] (and some of our servicemembers, too) accusing other military spouses of being none other than a dependapotamus. These creatures seek to take advantage of the trusting nature of the more inexperienced Service Member by birthing live children to him, to establish a link that would be more work to be rid of than to simply keep. time. What I will say is that women in general can be mean spirited to other women. It tends to be the junior Soldiers (in rank) that have wives like this. It’ll make for a better military community, I bet. Let humor exist where it may. Come with questions, we’ll come with answers. In the year 2013, multiple Facebook groups and pages were launched. Resumes Sent: 3 With every stereotype, there comes a bit of truth. SlangLang – Online dictionary for slang words. Please don't include names or any other personally identifiable info. Then one has to prove oneself to fellow hunters. The Pros and Cons Of Starting A Business With A Milspouse... Mentorship and the Milspouse-Owned Business, The Smart Military Spouse’s Guide To Military Promotions. What sets these women apart are two things. I don’t understand women who cant manage one child and maintain a household and then go have three more. 57 likes. your there all day CLEAN IT UP! As Soldiers progress and realize that having a stressful home life ON TOP of a stressful job isn’t necessary….the dependapotamus is usually the first to go. Dependapotamus: Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a "stay at home mom" that doesn't do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to jabba the hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. A Dependapotamus is real. Oh, quit getting your panties in a bunch. When one Soldier can’t get it together because his personal life is misery, everyone else has to pick up the slack. 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Type of people are the exception…not the normal as these facebookers would have you believe so called dependas... S the women who fit the stereotype are like that all the time ( or at least the majority.! One of those other military spouses set cookies on your computer to our.